ray-eous

whEn

2009-11-19T18:31:00.000-08:00

I guess it's time,
to face the truth,
Cause I know that I can't keep on holding back.
Well yes, you're right,
this love it's true,
but I can't seem to figure out what to do.

Cause I'm feeling hard to express,
the way I really feel.
But I think this time, oh yes, its real,
do you feel the way i do?

When will I get to hold your hand,
and hold it close to my heart?
I'd be a fool if I let you,
cause I'll only miss you more.
When will I be the special one,
to give you all the love?
I don't know how and I don't know why,
but I know that you are my
Angel

(lyrics unfinished)

a song for someone special

SaLvatioN for a friend

2009-09-28T05:53:00.000-07:00

It has been 16 years now that I believed in Chrit. But yet, I haven't actually shared the gospel with my friend and the ones I care and love...

Love comes from God above, and it it because of him that I can love others...

It should be time that I practice the great and amazing love that God gave me and tell friend about the wonderful news about my Lord and saviour Jesus Christ.

My top 7 list:

Koh Jia Yi
Derrick Loh Sue Chi
Shinn
Andy
Thye Hong Chee
Chan Junson
Lee Say Ket

May God bless me with wisdom and you guys with patience as I prepare myself to serve the Lord and bring good news to me.... Amen.

late Post FOr a late friend

2009-09-28T01:17:00.000-07:00

It has been about 2 moonths now... But the memories still remains. The pain and the emptyness... Still there.. And I still miss her... a lot...

She sat near me during Form 1, class J1Z of 2006. Well, it was a year to remember for me. New friends, new school. Well, other than that, it didn't took me long to find out that Vivian was a active girl. Hoo Ying Kiu, Bong Zi Yun and her made the most noice around my area. Hah! And it was I who gave them the nickname, "the three bird". Remember?

Hui Ven was in the same class with me during Form 2 too. But, I didn't really get to know her that much... But all that matters is that, I got to know her better..

Form 3 was a year without Hui Ven. I was calling her "Hui Wen" lesser as her chinese name was "Hui Min". I sort of miss that. Being in different class, made me see her lesser too... But she never failed to come back to the class where she loved, which is my class, J3z of 2008. Haha... Great class...

Yeah, I also gave Hui Ven a birthday present.. A late one... It was a small key chain. It was a token of a friendship and sort of token of regret for like missing out on her since she was not in the same class as me. She liked it... And I smiled..

One of my greatest regrets for her is that I couldn't get her to go on the Sungkai Trip. It was such a great trip. It was such a shamed that i left her out of the planning... Sometimes, I still wished I could turn things around, and go back to sort things out, the better way. Hui Ven didn't make it to the trip not because she didn't wanted to. But it was my lack of responsibility. I thought that Jia Kang wasn't going to the trip as I thought he was pulling out of it. Well, it's not his fault. I was the one that didn't put Hui Ven on my list of "important contacts".

What's done is done. And things still remain the way they are.

It was such an unexpected thing to know that Hui Ven left this world. I was just upstair when my little brother told me Janice Khoo Tze Yuen wanted to tell me something important. I wasn't expecting to be told that. When Janice told me that one of our freinds died, I was shocked. When I heard that it was Hui Ven, I was shaken.

She was just a 16-year-old. Young, cute and happy. Well, I think all who know her agree on that. But God took her away. I must say, it was too quick... Too fast.

Yet my greatest grieve now is that I haven't shared Christ with her... A girl who deserved to know the Lord, to know Jesus the way I do, didn't get the chance.

Hui Ven, I promised I will let the others know Christ ok? It's the least I do.

Oh, and also, I miss u real much. I dedicate this song to you, David Cook- Permanent.

Sorry again, but Jesus still loves you.

expeRience of a liFEtme: baNd Recording

2009-09-28T05:18:00.001-07:00

Wow... Recording session.. I didn't knew it was that Professional. Haha... It was so so so fun...

During the mid-year holiday of Malaysia (of course), I went back to Seremban hoping to be a pop-star when I come back... Well, it didn't turn out that way, but I came back more experienced...

During the holiday, I took a bus back to Seremban to meet up with Asher, my old church friend. It was my first time taking a bus to Seremban ALONE. I had to assure my parents that nothing unwanted would happen and everything would be great before I was granted the permissions to do so.

Upon reaching Seremban, I met up with Asher at the train station. I had to actaully walk from the bus terminal to the train station to meet up with him. Come to think of it, it wasn't that far away... Haha... Later we went to Parkson's Salvation Bookstore to meet up with his mom, Aunty Helen. Oh yeah, later we got ourselves a McDonalds beef burger and cheeseburger for a snack.

The day came I stayed at Asher’s house for the following days. We went to church to practice our songs, and rehearsed the songs we wanted to record. During that time, I met up with my other band mates too... Kai Keong ("gai geok" aka chicken leg) and Henry.

(top: Asher, left: Kai Keong, right: Henry)

We had a great time practicing together as friends as well as a band. We fooled around so much. It was so much fooling around that, every recording we made on our phones, was filled with such laughter and "friendly scolding"... Hahaha... I wished I can let you guys hear it...

When my band, named Miss Sunshine, headed to KL a day before "recording day". We stayed at Asher's aunts' house. Her house was located in SS2, and her house was so nice. Auntie was so friendly. Her husband gave us a sumptuous dinner at a nearby restaurant the night we went there. Oh man, you couldn't imagine how generous he was... That dinner cost him a staggering RM200++. THANK YOU, UNCLE!!!!

Well, we had some problems during the first night we stayed there. Asher was a bit frustrated... And, BOOM! a conflict began.... Well, like all conflicts, it ended with all of us getting along much better....

"Recording Day". We were so excited. We kept on wishing for time to pass by till 6pm. But time remained still. We had to practice and prepare ourselves for the big moment. We were so so anxious...

After enjoying some rojak and cendol nearby Asher's aunt's house, we left for SAE ( the name of the college where we should be recording). We needed to go by train then by taxi to the place. We got down the wrong station and needed to travel back. It was such a scare. Well, it was worth it as what was going to happen was a darn great experience.

We met up with the "recorders". One of them was Asher's cousin, Jonathan. It was because of him and because they needed some recordings for their graduation project, that enabled us to be get a chance to be recorded... Oh, and Lionel was the audio engineer who was going to work with us. After a dinner around 9pm at the mamak, we went up to the college, which is like a shop house college, to be recorded.

It was the first time that I saw such gadgets. Everything was computerized. Sound-proof rooms, a room filled with audio stuffs and an jamming room, er I mean recording room. After a good first impression, well a very good impression according to Lionel, and some photo taking by Lionel's girl friend, we started to record our song, an instrument at a time.

As we failed to produce a guide track, we played just accordingly to what Lionel told us to. Our first recording was the song, "Dear Maria Count Me In" by All Time Low.

I was the first one to be recorded as I was the drummer. I needed to play not only without music but also exactly according to a metronome, which means my beat needs to be exact. Wow... It was hard, it was about like 75minutes before I was able to produce something above satisfaction.... After that, my drumsticks were like ice-cream sticks, wet through.

It was Asher's turn... He was the mastermind of the recording deal and also the pro guitarist in the band. But then, Lionel only realized that out cover song began with the guitar, not the drum. So my effort was wasted. 75minutes of skill and sweat!!!

So we start from scratch. Asher started. He played the rhythm guitar part.
Man! His part of the recording was so fluent, unlike mine... When he was done, he came out and said "pro". I smacked him back and said "Ya lar, ya lar...."
Then it was Kai Keong's (chicken leg) turn. He was not much of a pro... But he did quite well.

And it was my turn. It was the same. I took up to much time. But time, everything was less satisfying..

Lionel realized that this couldn't go on. As it was already like 3am. So he decided that we should record as a band, cause according to him, we sound much better that way...
Well, as Lionel knew we were so darn tired.. He took us all to the 24hour McDonalds nearby to eat and let some stress out. I and Asher opted to eat at the mamak as it was cheaper.

After out very very early breakfast, we got back together to have a last try as a band. Everything turned out quite good. Lionel and everyone of us were satisfied... Yeah!!! By this time it was already like 4.30am. Us band members finished our job and it was Asher's turn for the vocals. Haha... I returned to the control room and rested.

Soon everything was done, and Lionel had to work with the recordings while Miss Sunshine members slept. We were so worn out. Lionel too, slept after he had completed his work. Hmm... Jonathan nearly caused me not being able to sleep as he told about some weird stuff in his college where his friend heard an old woman’s voice last time.... Hahaha....

After some much needed sleep, we got our recording disk from Lionel and after some encouraging words from the audio team, we headed home filled with a great experience. We all took the bus back to Seremban. Then I had to catch another bus to go back to JB while the others head home.

It was a great experience looking back now... I bet that you haven't had this kind of experience before... Hahah...

movie experience

2009-09-02T08:45:00.000-07:00

Oh yeah... Movie experience, a real unique one.

31 Aug 2009. Merdeka Day of course. That morning I suggested to mum that the whole family go out for a movie. Well, mum was going to go out anyways (haha) so she had to agree.

We went to Tebrau Jusco for the show. I wanted to watch the show. Friends told me that it was so nice. They cried, laughed and had a great time watching the movie. Well, I wouldn't want to miss a movie like this one.

Upon arriving at Jusco Tebrau City, mum dropped me off to buy the movie tickets in case the tickets for the 2.30pm show would be sold out. Wow... I was feeling so good as I went to the cinema counter to buy the tickets, 5 of them.

Later, i meet up with mum and had lunch with the family at Old Town White Coffee. I had my Ipoh Hor Fun. It doesn't taste quite as nice as the one I had in Seremban2 Jusco's Old Town Kopitiam. That one was so so so sumptious. Well, its food anyway.

While eating, mum asked me about the price of the tickets. "$54" I said. She was surprised by how expensive the tickets were. I counted for her, 4 x $12 plus $6 (kids ticket for my little brother... hahaha). Then she used her hand to push my head. That day, only mum, dad, lee tian (my little brother) and I were going to watch the movie "Up".

"OH!" I said.

After lunch, mum and dad accompanied me back to the cinema counter to try to ask the cashier to refund the ticket. But, as usual, tickets are not refundable. Silly me. Then i asked the cashier to help me sell the ticket. But man, was he so reluctant saying it was late though it was clearly 1:50pm, 40 more minutes before the show starts.

Well, I had to do something! My dad made the first move by asking the people nearby whether they were going to buy "Up" tickets. We could sell them our extra one. I was so very "paiseh". Imagine me standing there, asking people whether they were wanting to buy my extra tickets, and getting refused. It was like sort of selling pasar malam DVDs. Hahaha...

Then this group of friends came. They were like young adults, but FRIENDLY. I asked them whether they were going watch "Up" and to my pleasant surprise THEY WERE!

Oh, thank God.

They were so good to me, er, I mean my family and me. So coorperating. Unlike the cashier guy. We discussed out that they, who were wanting to buy 5 tickets, should buy 4 tickets, so I could sell them mine. But we were going to change seats so that i can sit with my family and they will be able to sit together. Clever me.

It was hard discussing that. They, consisting of a really nice looking lady and 2 great guys (2 other friends were coming later) were so so so good to me, er, I mean me and my family. If it was not for them, I wouldn't have enjoy the amazing Pixar and Disney movie. I do hope the guy and the pretty lady do end up together. 2 kind-hearted people. Great couple.

there they are explaining how our "plan" works... sweet aren't
they... love you guys... thanks for your help... hope you two end up together...

And also, not forgetting, thumbs up to "Up" a great movie and touching tale. Bravo! You guys should go watch it. Full of amazing stuffs and laughter. :)

Father's Day SpeCiaL

2009-08-17T09:16:00.000-07:00

It's been so long since Father's Day... And sorry for not blogging much lately. Busy man, busy. Well anyway, this is for my dad, my pops...

Fathers are the kind of humans that are somehow caring in a sort of "violent" way, should i say? Well, fathers actually do fit well with the canes, belts and slaps in our lives... There's no doubt about that. But tell me, isn't there half a chance that you would stop to notice the love our fathers give us?

To be frank, i've almost forgotten how my father loved me when i was younger. He was so loving to the family. But because of my "teenage curse", i use to think my dad as a violent, useless, shouting like mad person... Well, until now.....

It was so sudden. I was trying to find a book that is like a bedtime story book to me when i was young. It was hard to find, but alas i found it. Flipping through the pages that are so familiar to me, made me remember something... I didn't read the book myself when i was young. It was dad...

Memories of me taking the book to dad and asking him to read it for me flash by... I remember clearly the one story that i like is "Fillmytummy Troll". And i used to ask dad to flip through every page to see if there were any of Fillmytummy Troll's stories left in the book.... I wanted him to read it to me... Cause he was such a good storyteller...

And this made me think of dad, the habits he used to have... Dad always tells us the same stories when i ws getting older... All these stories had morals inside. I used to listen to them, but after a number of times... BORING!!! Change the topic PLEASE!!!!

But looking it in another way, i realised that dad had almost memorized every word of the stories... Could it be that dad told us these stories that i once loved so much till he can memorize it till today? Did he find so much stories to tell to his children, us, to let us listen eagerly, and even memorized the stories to entertain us... All his stories, his interesting jokes....

Dad sure sacrificed a lot for me. He red me the bible when i was young and till now, i know almost every bible stories in it. He read me so much Fillmytummy Troll stories till the print on the pages were gone, almost....

Remembering these made me RE-love him once again and changed my view of him and as a dad who only knows how to scold me, nag me and shout at me... That changes a lot... I love him. Love you, DAD!!

I sure do...

mother's day SPeCia:L

2009-06-05T02:48:00.000-07:00

Momma!

Mum is always special, unique to others. Let's put it this way, do we ever ever compare our mothers? NO! Never. And that slightly explain how we secretly love, care and think of our mother.

Mothers aren't always appreciated, you know? Take ourselves for instance. Do we? Come on frankly.

When we're first born, we say an angel. (Besides the "evil" doctor who smacked our dear butt to make us cry.) She was the lady who would be raining care upon us for years to come. She would risk anything, ANYTHING to see us unhurt. She'd give up her life for us.

Let's face it. We'd never understand how our mums feel. But there's this question I want to ask you. Could you imagine how you mum would feel like when her child dies? ... ...

The heartbreak, the pain, the agony of facing the truth that she'd never ever believe in... You know, some mothers could even recover from the heartbreak of losing a child.

My mother. Brilliant. I remember when I was 7, I couldn't finish my homework. And it was goin to be midnight. (Hey, i actually stayed up till that late while I was still so small.) She held my hand and help me do my homework... And you know, I am a left-hander. But that didn't stop her. She, never wrote properly with her left hand before, took my hand steadily and help me finish my "sheng zi" (means vocabulary writing). I was like half awake, maybe entirely asleep then. She had to position me properly and grab my hand to write at the same time. And she was a teacher who need to get up to work early in morning the next day.

And there was one time, when I nearly lost her. She had gastric, or similar to food poisoning, only to be far more serious, because she ate to much "ye jiang" and that made her so weak. I didn't know how much i loved her, i cared about her. I wouldn't even dare to imagine life without her. I grabbed her hands tight, so tight... Wishing that she would be all right. And THANK GOD, she was safe.

I know this is a really late post for mother's but, I just want to thank my mum, and your mum, that you're here, you're safe. And just say "I love you, mum" to her, when you have gathered enough guts to do it. All mums are caring, you just need to be mature enough to see through the way she cares for you...

Mumma, LOVE you always...

missing my job

2009-04-25T07:19:00.000-07:00

My job in CHHS... Yes. I miss it. Miss it real much.

Maybe some of you did not even know or noticed, but i did have a small job in CHHS. But my clients are just about 3 people. So very little. Haha... I was actually a consultant.

Hmm... Should i put it like "consultant" so serious? Nah... no. But it's really like consulting someone. But on relationship stuff. Love doctor, you can say that. But also on friendship too...

Well, i remember that my job started when i was like form 2. Remember? Then, there were always some break-up between friends. So many. Just too many. I remember that there were like 3-4 of this kind of incidents...

Well, i just couldn't stand seeing people that i think were the best of friends just split like that... So i just started my researching and consultations on them... I was just like the third party, this time just only there to stitch things up, and not break things up. And i think my first ever product was... POOF!! YapHernYi and Shinn... Man, i was good.

And my career started just like that. Some close friends needed help on things that concern reltionships, for some reason i don't know, came sharing their problems with me. And Hence, they became my clients too... hahah....

I think i handle about 2 or 3 special relationships, but hey i think i did quite ok. Success rate? I think, er, bout 50%. Haha... I really do miss the researching thing and giving consults on relationship thing, and being the Love Doctor. Man...

Handling people's stuff may be ok for me. But handling my own stuff? Different story. A love doctor can't be his own love doctor... So you know, sometimes i just get hung up on crushes on people... Relationships are tough, really tough. I just hope i can get myself through this time of my life that i am interested in some peoeple. To be frank, i am currently interested in some right now. Just not so wanting to get myself into a relationship. Cause handling one is so darn hard. Consulting is more easier. Haha.. I'm just hoping i can consult myself more. Haha...

But, i do have to say farewell to the CHHS J3Z love doctor character now. Just hope i can rediscover my touch of brilliance and be the doctor again...

You need a cure? Haha...

*hey, help me click advertisement near the top left hand corner there eh... Now my AdSense only $1.16 lar.... Help lo...

missing stuffs

2009-04-25T06:43:00.000-07:00

Oh man... It's time i write about things i miss.

I just miss being the kid i was at CHHS. The kid that is so darn active, and makes fun of almost everyone in class.I sometimes do miss the way i walk in the class, just like the teacher...
HAHA... Especially classes like Geography, Sejarah, and.... oh! Moral. It's like i'm the boss.

I miss the faces of people who react to my pranks and lame jokes. Those faces like feeling shocked, happy and bored to death... The people who do that... Are just simply silly. And i do miss their silliness... Or should i say dumbness... hah...

The recess of CHHS. Yeah, eating with YapHernYi, my loyal canteen-going friend who always goes to the canteen with me. Eating with him and others. And then going to the toilet behind the girls hostel to just pee and look into the mirror and style my hair... Oh man, miss it. By the way, i don't do that quite often in my new school.

And also accompanying friends to the toilet, to just hangout, pee and poo. I just remember KingMing and HernYi who either always accompany me to poo, or i accompany them to poo. Haha... Fond memories of my great life. Sort of like the Three Musketeers, only the toilet version.

Besides that, there's the second recess time that i usually race JiaYi to see who finish the maths homework first. Though i lost almost every time, but i won him a couple of times. I miss the time when i go to JiaYi's mum's place where i put my bag. And then go find Mr plump Pikachu. Oh ya, the days... Missing them a lot.

Well, i sure will treasure them.... Surely will....

EasteR SunDay with "ND"

2009-04-19T01:18:00.000-07:00

12 April 2009 is may be just like an ordinary sleeping Sunday for all of you. But this day was so very nice for me. Oh, actually, i was so very great.

It was Easter Sunday. The day my Jesus rose from the dead some 2000 years ago. And i was planing to go to Singapore to see a Easter Drama performed by City Harvest (which is my bro's church). The title? "THE FINAL SOLUTION".

Few days before Easter Sunday, i invited Andy Yan to go to to drama with me. Well, i was so happy to hear that he wanted to come... I was excited! Weuho! I am going to the drama with Andy!!!

I tried to wake up earlier on that Sunday.. But failed. Haha.. After some wash-up and breakfast, i only went to Singapore at 8.30am. And i reached my brother's NUS hostel by 9.00am. Then we departed to City Harvest in Singapore EXPO Hall.

I reached there by 9.40am. Which is like about 10 mins late for the drama. I was looking around for Andy. As i walked to door 8 of HAll 8, there he was!! My darn little friend from my old school, CHHS. And it seems just like the old days. His style have not change. Its still him, just him. And that was nice. Soon, we entered the hall and enjoyed the drama.

The Drama- It was nice, real nice. Its about a cure, a medicine called "the final solution". It was used on criminals to let them become good people. It seemed to be the perfect solution as it was seemed to make people good. And there was also Jesus, who is also a "solution" for sinners as he is the say to heaven.

The founder of the "final solution" was also experiencing problems of his own. He used his "solution" on his troubled daughter. And soon, his "solution" was found to be not a cure. At first, it seemed to really make people good. But then, it will kill them. WOW.

And the authorities caught him. Jesus was caught too, as he claimed to be the son of GOD. And in the end, Jilius Caeser could free one person. But the crowd did not want to set Jesus free. In the end, Jesus bore the sin of the doctor.

And in the scene of Jesus' crucification, man, it was so real. The actors actually walked out of the stage. And there were so many people coming to the audience to shout justice for Jesus. Real nice. Great performance.

After the drama I and Andy and his friend went to Terminal 2 to have lunch at the staff canteen. Then we went to see orchestra. Haha.. That was fun. We actually slept during the FREE orchestra listening. HAHAHA.... Fun.

And we went back to my brother's NUS hostel. Then only i knew i din know where Andy and his friend's hostel is. Cause it was so far away from my brother's hostel. So my brother sent them to the bus stop near NUS and directed them home. Sorry Andy... i couldn't sent u home. but i really wanted to...

After that, i went home. That day was so nice. That night i also had dinner with my cousins. And i was so so really glad to have a day out with my friend.

I would personally want to thank Andy for coming out with me. He actually saw it the day before. But he just wanted to come with me and have fun with me... Thanks a lot Andy. I sure had fun. AND i also made new friend. What's his name again? Sorry.

NICE NICE day.

i finally managed to do it!!!

2009-04-19T01:00:00.000-07:00

Hey guys... Just want to tell you all i finally did one thing i sort of fear in the past!!!

Catching a cockroach bare handed!!
HAHA.........

Man, wow that was fun. I was back from school that day and i noticed a darn, disgusting cockroach in my sink. Out of my instinct, i just reached out my hands and grab the darn cockroach... An before i knew it, the cockroach was in my own hands!!

Well, that was kinda weird. Especially having a live cockroach in my hands for the first time. It was not that bad after all. The only thing i hate with a bug in my hand is that it's legs keep on moving in my palm... Fortunately, i caught the cockroach's back. So the legs weren't interfering.

Then.. i wanted to dispose it.. i was trying to just snap its head. But when i pulled the pitiful bugs head, it came off with its intestine... man... it was like green in colour... Quite disgusting i can say. Ha!!!!!!!! i flung it away at first. Then i picked it up. Then i realized the body was still moving... Man, real cool. Haha....

ANd that was how i worked out..... haha... :]

back with a black jack

2009-03-11T07:02:00.000-07:00

A lot has been going around, and I've been real busy with my own schedule these day.... Sorry for the late update on my blog.. Thanks for paying much attention to my stories...

Lately not much has happened. But there was this thing I need to tell u all. Let's call this a dream. Just a dream.

It's been quite some time now since I had this dream. It happened in February, I think. But that's not the subject. The main thing is that I was dreaming about people... You people... Yeah you nut head guys, funny gals, and..... oh well, just you pals.

I was dreaming about the people that I once thought that I would be with for a long time. I dreamed about fooling around with the usual guys and mixing around with those cheerful and heart-warming people. And all i remember is that I was laughing while in my dream. The joy of being with the people that you would like to share the moment with......

Well, it was all most the same dream. I found myself having the similar dream. Fooling around as I usually do in real life with friends. Its as if wanted to have the same dream again. And I wanted to. Yeah, why wouldn't I not want to.

Ha~ Smile cause I still have this bond with you. And I give this promise to you. Whenever there's this possibility of me refreshing this bond of ours, I will make it happen. Till we see each other eye to eye again.... and enjoy each others' presence.

missing y'all~

2009-01-29T08:33:00.000-08:00

Hey there, long time no see guys and gals. It’s been quite some time since I moved to JB. Well everything is ok for the moment, and I miss u guys.

Moving here was a thing I never expected. However, everything is fine now, so far so good. Though I’ve moved on, I just simply miss the part of me that is part of you. I just miss that, I simply just.

Some friends still keep in touch with me, thank god they do. I want to feel left out and forgotten. I despise that. Thanks you all who never made me feel that. But some did… Well, some did. I just don’t want to mention that, it just makes me hurt.

To those who visited my blog to check me out, man, thanks. Glad to know that u dudes still care for me. And hey, inform me about any new things happening in my old home. Oh yeah, sorry for not making it back this Chinese New Year. I’m too busy here, cause I have another house here. I need to pack up and re-arrange my stuff. Man, there is just so much things to do here. Well, I hope you keep backing me up there guys…

And hey, HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!!

All the best you guys…. Hope to see you all back there when I do come and visit. Ciao.

my last Seremban blog..

2008-12-30T08:37:00.000-08:00

Yo! Hey there guys and pretty gals… Thanks for dropping by and have a look at my blog. Hmm, for your information, this would definitely be the last blog I post in my house which is in Seremban. The next blogs will be written and posted in Johor Bahru already. So, I decided to post one last blog while I’m still in Seremban.

Leaving this town and place which I grew up in somehow seems hard for me. The sceneries that I used to see everyday will stop appearing after tomorrow. Thinking of it doesn’t seem right either. The Seremban roads that lead to my house, the trees that I am so familiar with now, the faces that I see when I go in and out of my house, haiz, will just… just … somehow… be classified as memories after today..

Tomorrow, my family will drive to Johor Bahru. We do this quite often cause I use to go visit my brother who is studying in Singapore. But for the first time, and it’s hard for me to accept, I am not coming back to face or see the people here again… I know, I’ll miss my friends and all. I know, even though I haven’t left Seremban, but I just know. Because of the things that I went together with the other “Seremban people”. Oh Seremban people..

The merry faces that I will miss... so so so much. Yeah, so much. And after this, and when I come back to Seremban, I’ll look at this place in a different view. I’ll treat it as a pass, a memory. It’s because I’m not one of the people here already. It isn’t as award or something, but I like being one of the people here. Oh man! I just hope that my friends and love ones will remember and welcome me back if I do come and visit… VISIT.

V.I.S.I.T

Oh well, I couldn’t change a thing, could I? Hey, I just hope you miss the Seremban Ray posting his Seremban blog ok?

second separation

2008-12-30T08:36:00.000-08:00

Leaving my school friends was a hard enough thing to handle… I will miss them. But now this? Leaving my church pals? This is a second blow to me, sincerely.

Since I was small, I sent to church. I grew up there with the people who are still now my friends and lovers who I can fool around with. This, to me, is bleeding for the second time… A second separation.

I still remember when I was like 5-6 years old, and I was playing around with my mates. And when I was 10, I had some “enemies”… like opposition, people who are on the other gang. But now the belong to me. They are my friends now… Just think about it, from “enemies” to friends. It’s a miracle, a beautiful friendship spell.

I really don’t know how to say goodbye to them. A few days ago, we had our farewell dinner together.. It was fun. And when it was over, I had to say goodbye to some of my elder friends who I won’t meet next Sunday. They said goodbye in a simple but sort of silently sad way… I felt the sorrow. And my friend, Lee En (Genesis) said : “ Don’t miss me!” Hah! I know she’s going to miss me more. But I still will miss her… and my other friends.

The next day, which is a Sunday, after the morning service, it was time to say goodbye too. Well, this time everyone just like started to quiet down. I don’t know. Like it was a bit sad. We took our last pictures together. And we said goodbye. It was hard, and harsh too, to lose some one, theoretically.

I just want to say that I will miss you all, my brothers and sisters in Christ. I appreciate your efforts from the pass. I will miss them. Always miss them. Always. And thanks for the sweet and sour memories, though they are all sweet to me now. <(*v*)>

And I hope this separation, doesn’t mean separation to us at all.. Thanks.

chirstmas' high

2008-12-25T00:17:00.000-08:00

Er, oh yeah... For your information this started yesterday (24/12) on Chirstmas Eve.

Andy and Shinn came to my church and attended the activity there. And they saw me and my church friends perform on stage.. Hah, about time they see my wits... That night we had dinner outside the church's empty space... And during my dinner time with Andy and Shinn in about 1 month plus time, i saw many old faces... My old Qi-gong Sifu and his family, and one certain classmate- Teh Pao Tsiang... HAH! Andy, Shinn and me was getting ourselves out of her view, for some reason, I don't know...

After the event, my brother sent Shinn home. When he got down, I did my best to say some encouraging words to him. Then later, my elder, smaller brother and me went to A&W to have some things to eat... Well, I didn't have a rootbeer, but a teh tarik. How stupid of me?!

After enjoying ourselves, we took pics of ourselves and three of our freinds which were there, Genesis Lee En, Michelle and Arthur. Ok, that was fun enough. Then later, we did what was to me a Christmas High...

We went outside of the eating shelter, and to the small, mini playground in the A&W property. We took more pictures there.. Later I dared Arthur to wave at the passing cars and motorcycles. Well, in the end both of us did it. Then the rest of my friends did it with us. First, we wave at a couple on a bike, and guess what? They waved back! WOW!!! Friendly people. Oh, by the way it was already 12A.m. something (which was Christmas). And we wished the couple merry christmas too!

Later we tried to get it on tape.. Well it didn't worked out for the first few times cause there were so much unco-orperative people. But at last, we wave at yet another passing Indian couple in a bike. Well the guy did waved back at us.. and hey we got it on tape... Beign satisfied to get a reaction from the public, we went home...

Hmm, well I guess that will be the last crazy thing I will do in Seremban.. Shezz.. How I will miss that...

dissapiontment

2008-12-14T09:53:00.000-08:00

Waking up that day was ordinary, quite. After breakfast, I call JiaYi to check out what I was supposed to check that morinng- my UEC resutls. JiaYi offered to check my results for me. Ok that was fine for me. "Your i.c. no......... ok I'm in. Let's see... You have one, two..... three...... haha. Only three A's for you." WHAT!!?!?!? 3A's only? I was hoping that JiaYi would say at least four or five... But that didn't come. My mind black-out for a moment. I could not think about anything for a while. What I heard seemed impossible.... at least to me.

My mind couldn't accept this information. NO, not quite possible. I mean completely unbelievable. This could not be, at least according to my school performannce, school resutls and all that. How could this happen?! No way? Is this true? I logged in to see my resutls for myself.
The first letter on the right was B. Ok. Next. A! Finally. Then, A! Again.

My heart was filled with faint hope. But as I glance downwards, oh no, B,B, and more B's. My heart sank like Titanic, broken into two. Was I really this bad? I looked away from the pc. Oh my gosh, this was suppose to be a merry day for me. It should be a day to be celebrating, cause I anticipated I would score at least 6A's. And I was hoping for more too, greedy old heart of mine. Not to mention the hope and crazy thought of getting full A's. What a thought and sight was it if i were to acchieve that height... But now, i had to face the harsh truth...

My father, mother and brother were there to give me some advice, or some consultation. But it was bro who stood up the most. "You have to take this, maybe it's because of your studying method or something else. You should have found the best method for yourself." I stayed quite. He was a high acchiever, a real high acchiecver. Then he started again. "Maybe it's just God. You prayed to God before the exam right?" I gave a slight nod. "Well, you asked Him to give you the result He wanted you to have. And this is the results He wants you to have."

I thought hard. Why this? WHY? "Maybe God wants to tell you something. He gave you this results to teach you something, maybe. This results may seem bad to you, but in His eyes it is what that is best for you. For now that is. God knows what is best for you for the very moment. " Maybe, maybe I thought. "God is the one who knows that's what's best for you. Maybe this is the best for you now. And in the long run. He could give you straight A's, but that may not suit you. It may suit you now, but in the long run... it may not. God, maybe, is trying to teach you something. maybe he is teaching you that you're not the best."

I always thought that I was. But now... "He may be trying to teach you to be humble. I don't think I am the best, even though I got many things. There are still many many far more better people out there. Never had I thought that I was the best."

Right. That's what I lacked. My ego. That big, ginormous ego of mine. I had a deed thought. Yeah, humble-ness. It's what I need to learn now, and in the long run. It's whats best for me now. Thanks, thanks for the reminder. And i felt like looking into the skies...

the dream that doesn't seem like one

2008-11-25T06:47:00.000-08:00

I had dream of growing up, and heading to distance places to pursue my dreams. I thought of leaving things behind and moving forwards towards my fantasy. Unknowingly, this life had grown onto me and I can't seem to get it off me.

Since I was a kid, I always wanted to be a happy person and live a perfect life. And I know that I have to follow my dreams to accomplish that. My dreams are slowly becoming a reality as I move towards my goal by moving forward... But, BUT this dream, somehow doesn't feels like the dream i longed so much for... All these might not be as easy as I thought it would.

Is it what I think it is? Is this really my dream? How comes it doesn't feels like it is a step towards my dreams? Do dreams feel like this when they come true? Or is it every dream has a price? And the price I am going to pay is heavy, real heavy. But do I have any choice and any reason not to realize this dream? .. .. .. All I hope for now is that what I am giving up is worth it.... ...

leavin'

2008-11-20T08:48:00.000-08:00

There are places i remember, in my life and i love them all. Yeah, i've been to many places, and homes and schools. Ordinary places where extraordinary events happen. Memories of laughter and smile, even teardrops are still clear in my empty mind. Leaving a place, not to mention a place where i thought i could call home for the rest of my life will never be easy, both for me and for the people who i shared many moments with. But ya, when the time comes we all have to leave, someday, somewhat reason, and somewhat purpose...

Hmm.... At least i had called this place home before. One more thing... We leave home to venture out into the open... what more! Get this, WE LEAVE HOME TO RETURN HOME ... and when i come back, i'll be singing "home" by Chris Daughtry....

never letting go

2008-09-06T08:59:00.000-07:00

i never knew i made you that mad,
for once i felt like this relationship was gonna end...

Yeah, i though i was just interacting with you in a closer way, a way that u might understand and comprehend. Joking was the main thing in mind as i was only there to entertain you...

well it turned out not well cause we may have caused a chaos out of the relationship... Most of all i nearly lost you, my dear. I felt that u were slipping through my hands. Learning it the hard way to appreciate and cherish the ones we love was the only way, i think, was better for all of us. But nevertheless, you granted me the chance to continue the relationship that we had. Remembering what that you had done to me the first year we met, it was quite funny. Things took a quick turn and we all got to know each other more.... Then we knew we were more than ordinary friends. Much more than just that.

it's all in the past now... but i'm still sorry for my silly mistake. What hurts most is that i did not even knew i hurt you... i can't help but keep saying sorry...... i just don't want to let you go so easily... and you knew wad to do...
thanks, Shinn...

freed

2008-10-17T06:47:00.000-07:00

it's finally over, the exam is over already!! some of the burden are lifted up now... i can finally breath. but as the year end gets near, i fear it. Cause it may just put a full-stop to my school life here with my friends...

time passes by and things always change. I do not know for certain what the future holds. But time has taught me to prepared for what's installed for me... Aways be prepared, for every challenge that is to come . haiz, don't be stunned by the things that we'll gonna find out... Cause the unexpected will cease to happen...